Would you like to know if you're dealing with a person who is likely to emotionally blackmail you?
Here are 7 warning signs, that a person may be a regular emotional blackmailer:
1.warning sign: THE PERSON IS TERRIBLE AT LISTENING
The person rarely asks you how you are doing. He or she doesn't remember your previous conversations. If you start talking about yourself or things that interest you, he or she gets preocupied with something else (starts cleaning up, starts messing with the phone etc.). He or she doesn't ask any questions related to you story, but quickly drives the attention back to himself or herself instead.
2.warning sign: THE PERSON CAN'T TAKE CRITICISM
He or she can't handle criticism. It doesn't matter whether the feedback is direct or indirect. He or she will simply ignore it or feel thretened and get defensive. He or she may even start criticising you. The person is unable to really hear what you're saying and therefore nothing changes.
3.warning sign: THE PERSON IS HIGHLY CRITICAL OF OTHERS
The person can be very critical to strangers as well as loved ones. The criticism can be direct ("That shirt looks awful on you! I can see that you've gained some weight.") to indirect, sometimes even masked as helpful (You haven't mentioned your shirt or weight, when a person suddenly says: "Do you need help picking out a shirt that will actually look good on you? I can help you pick one out, so that it won't be noticable that you've gained quite a bit of weight."). You find it hard to feel at ease and accepted in his or her company.
4.warning sign: THE PERSON LOVES DRAMA
The person likes to insert extra flair and drama into his or her stories. He or she seems to almost enjoy all the drama and conflicts. His or her life is almost never peaceful because somebody is always slighting him or her. The person takes himself or herself very seriously. He or she can be very resentful and has trouble letting some things go.
5.warning sign: THE PERSON IS A NARCISSIST
Narcissists love to emotionally blackmail others. They beliece they are worthy more than the rest. Sometimes they even say this out loud. They can be boastful of themselves and their accomplishments and believe others sould share their views and oblige them.
6.warning sign: THE PERSON LOVES TO PUT BLAME ON OTHERS
The person lacks the ability to be self-critical in a healthy way. He or she can't come to terms that he or she did something wrong. Insted he or she blames others.
7.warning sign: THE PERSON DOESN'T EXPRES WISHES DIRECTLY
The person has trouble expressing his or her wishes, so he or she starts pressuring others and guilt tripping them instead.
Of course the person who is emotionally blackmailing you may not fit into any of these descriptions. But usually the emotional blackmailer exibits at least 2-3 of these warning signs. Some of these signs are mutually exclusive (for example narcissists tipically have no trouble expressing their wishes), so nobody exibits every single one of them.
Want to know how to stop the person who is emotionally blackmailing you?
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Hi, I’m Katja, a psychologist from Slovenia.
Also known as a NO-FLUFF therapist, because I don't believe in generic advice, such as 'just believe in yourself', 'follow your heart' etc. Sure, it sounds nice, but it doesn't actually help you. Instead I love practical solutions and proven techniques that actually work.
As a psychologist and psychotherapist I'm especially passionate about helping people skyrocket their self-esteem, helping them let go of their unnecessary guilt, end emotional drama and create genuine and loving relationships.
4 tactics of emotional blackmail
Here are 4 tactics of emotional blackmail you need to watch out for (click here).
